Open Yourself Part 2

Open your heart to hear mine as I recite this rhyme. Darkness has filled the void missing as I haven't healed with time. Night after night, day after day memories of lost gone with the wind to my dismay. Why won't you come back, why can't I be with you? It should've been me it's not fair and no one has a clue! "It'll be okay...they're in a better place now", yea you're an expert that comforts me so much now. Being more negative has pushed me to be meaner, not caring about much and can't change my demeanor. I'll change on my own but why am I saying the word can't? I wake up every night in a cold sweat gasping for air with each pant. Don't want to go through the pain the struggle is too real, again why couldn't it be me. Dear lord, why haven't you taken my life?...because he believed I was doing something right. In his eyes I had the potential to find the light, make him proud to hold me in his hug so tight. So now I stay indifferent, in my own conscious limbo. Until I find a new outlet and motivation, that will bring me up and as a greater person tenfold.